The Holy Spirit's Family Room

Who is a freelance lover? Where did that title ever come from?

As I was recovering from cancer thirty years ago, I was re-examining what my life should be like going forward. I had limited energy and focus and was evaluating what I could do as a child of God with my graced, bonus time. As I was walking and pondering, I heard a still, small voice in my heart: “I want you to be a freelance lover.” That’s all I heard – no further explanation. But I knew exactly what it meant – that I was to be open, each day and in every circumstance, to love others. I was called to look for the person who most needed to hear they were loved. I was invited to interact with others, not hide.

At this point, I was still almost bald. I was just finished with chemotherapy. I had plenty of reason to avoid new relationships, but I felt drawn reach out. At a performance of a musical, I saw a young woman sitting by herself. She had on a “cancer hat” to camouflage her bald head. I went over and said hello. I listened to her story, as much as she wanted to share. I tried to encourage her that hair does grow back, that people do recover, that there is hope.

After this first venture, I discovered many ways to be a freelance lover. For me, cancer often opened the door. Support groups and volunteer time at the Cancer Center Library gave me the chance to meet people in need of a listening ear. I learned to read body language, especially eyes. I could begin to discern when someone wanted to talk or when they wanted to be left alone. Both deserve respect.

As I recovered and re-entered “normal” activities, I was often in a position to be facilitating a Bible Study or Small Group. My freelance lover calling allowed me to be inviting and inclusive. I could seek out the quiet ones, the hurting ones, the introverts, and model the welcome of Jesus.

Wherever we are, in the grocery store or car repair shop, there will be strangers who could use some love. It’s free! It’s easy (and it gets easier with practice). It can bring friendship and light to our waiting time, to our “wasted” time. It blesses both giver and receiver.

People who hike in a group are aware of the importance of paying attention to the weak link in the chain of hikers. There is always someone who is having a harder time than the rest. They can slow down everyone, or provide an opportunity for the others to adjust their pace, help with a backpack, or simply offer a word of encouragement. As the swift ones, we can choose to love the slow. As Jesus modeled, the poor, the weak, and the needy are often our invitation to practice freelance love. It is not premeditated but responds from our heart as the opportunity arises in the course of our daily lives.

Watch for it! We are all called to be freelance lovers!