“Who is the King of Glory? How do they call him?” What we call someone has a huge influence on how we see them. We call this newborn babe “the Son of God,” “Jesus Christ our Lord,” “The Messiah.” Every time we pray to him or refer to him, his name alone (Jesus the Christ) reminds us of who he is to us.

What do we call the others in our lives, the homeless, the loners, the difficult, the different? Do we call them “child of God” or do we call them “stupid?” How do we interact with the people we meet on the street? Do we accuse them, see them as lesser, because they are poorly clothed? Do we automatically assume they are lazy, greedy, unworthy of our attention because they are “other”?

During this time of holiday gatherings, do we pigeonhole certain relatives by saying (or thinking), “She’s the one who always hogs all the attention,” or “He’s the stuck-up cousin.” Do we assign a label to a person and then believe our own judgment and refuse to allow for other possibilities, or change and growth?

What if we start thinking, “Oh, she’s shy,” or “He’s uncomfortable because he doesn’t have a job like ours.” The words we use, spoken or in our own minds, can build up or hurt. Not only are they often inaccurate and unfair to the person we refer to, but they blind us to their real identity as a worthy child of God, just as valuable as we are! For our own good, we can examine our vocabulary and do some substitutions. Instead of mean, perhaps they are unloved. Instead of awkward, maybe they are lonely. Instead of angry, try frustrated. Instead of proud, maybe they have poor self-esteem. Instead of a “stupid driver,” maybe he or she is on the way to an emergency.

When we start looking at the language we choose, we see that we shape our relationships by our words and expectations. When we begin to substitute words of caring and affirmation for our negative labels, we often find a new openness in ourselves and begin to build compassionate friendships.

May Jesus the Christ guide our lips!